There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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