i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
