We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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