Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
