It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug