Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now