just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.