I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.