My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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