i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He passed out mid-signature
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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