You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
