with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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