Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just google imaged poop.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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