I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
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I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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