i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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