You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
