Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
