The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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