Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
