Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
