I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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