How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize