i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
