My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
