All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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