Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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