the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
