im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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