i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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