he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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