it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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