Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
