Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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