Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
