i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
