Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
