Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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