So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize