He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
