I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize