I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think my vagina is haunted
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
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