i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
