Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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