before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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