My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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