i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
