So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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