ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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