Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
