Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
