dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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