yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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