Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
