every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
