yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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