I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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