Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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