i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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