I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
