You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
nutella sex= disaster
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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