I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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