problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
