Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
